Learning to Ride a Bike

A couple weeks ago, I put my car into storage and started riding my bike.  Now, I am not what you’d call a good bike rider.  My ass hurts, my thighs ache, and grease somehow gets smeared all over my calves.    Small children on tricycles pass me on the street.

While my body may be used to yoga, riding a bike challenges me in a completely different way.  Muscles get tightened rather than lengthened; cardio work is a main component rather than a by-product. And although riding a bike is undoubtedly good for me, it is very humbling and hard.

As I was riding to work last week, however, I noticed a small change. It had become just the slightest bit easier.

I noticed this because I was actually able to think about something other than my screaming legs.
But I hadn’t become suddenly stronger; I was just becoming accustomed to the pain.  Through practice, I was slowly getting used to this new kind of stress.  In that moment, I had a mini-revelation: if it took practice for me to get used to physical discomfort, why should mental discomfort be any different?

As obvious as the connection is, riding my bike reminded me that we are always going to have to move through discomfort when trying something new.  We don’t have the strength when we start. It’s something that we have to practice in order to get.

Exercising new muscles – whether they’re physical or psychological – requires patience, compassion, and diligence.  So don’t be hard on yourself if your thighs are burning (literally or metaphorically). Stay with it. As Pattabhi Jois says, “Practice, practice, and all is coming.”

A necessary side note: After I wrote this blog, I found this video clip of Shri K Pattabhi Jois.  He’s the original purveyor of “Just Do It.” He passed from this world on May 18th, 2009 and has left the world the incredibly legacy of Ashtanga Yoga. Thank you, Guruji. You are missed.

In the face of anxiety…

Last week, I took a roadtrip with my boyfriend. He struggles with anxiety and is working towards flying on planes. In the meantime, we drive. He hasn’t been to Los Angeles for several years, so this was a pretty significant adventure.  The prospect of leaving terra firma and adventuring into the wilds of the United States held the potential for serious discomfort.

We had our moments, of course. All evolution requires some growing pains. There were times with then anxiety would come on, and he would have a choice: open to possibility (that he would live through this moment, that he could survive distress) or close down in fear.

Although his boundaries are far more tangible than most of ours, we all have possibilities that we’ve shut off in order to stay comfortable. We all have places we don’t go, because we “don’t do that,” or we “can’t do that.” Some of us refuse to sing in public (or even sadder, in the privacy of our own home) because we’ve come to think we can’t. Some of us unknowingly put limitations on our ideas of personal success and happiness. We may shy away from something that we’d actually like to do because we are pre-supposing that we won’t be able to do it.

It’s almost easier for my boyfriend. He can see the border between Canada and the United States and determine to step over it. Some of us have been living with our self-imposed limitations for so long that we no longer even recognize that they’re there.

In our practice, we can use our discomfort as a stepping stone to possibility. When we’re in the throes of a pose (say, a strength-challenging hip opener like Warrior II), we can take the space to respond to the discomfort rather than shy away from it. When our thighs start burning and the mind jumps in, “abort, abort!”, we can instead explore the possibility of remaining in the unknown. The inhalation becomes a doorway to greater space and literally creates more space in the body. By engaging in the breath and staying present, we can actually use our anxiety in order to open to possibility.

And then, take this ability to create possibility from your fear into the rest of your life. What neglected corners could use a little loving sunshine?

Om Shanti

Shanti means “peace.” This chant feels full of yearning and sadness to me, as most of us are when we’re struggling to find shanti. Om Shanti

Ganesh

I had a crazy inspiration for this song. But who wouldn’t expect The Great Removal of Obstacles to have a great sense of humor? I had way too much fun with this one. Ganesha

Amazing Grace

This is one of my father’s favorite song. During one of my visits home, I corralled him into the bathroom and made him sing it with me for posterity. My father was the one who taught me how to harmonize (or at least, how to try!) when I was little. Amazing Grace

Levitating, inverting, abs. By request.

I arrived early to my Tuesday class, so asked some of the students if they had any inspirations for the practice.  “Levitation,” replied one particularly cheeky monkey.  “Inversions!” another cried.  “I may get in trouble for this,” said a third, “but I’d like to do abs.”

Alright, I thought.  Levitating, inverted abs it is.

Challenge is an inherent part of any arm balancing themed class.  After all, a solid core connection is essential for any standing on the hands, and that invariably winds up being, well…hard.  You need to connect to the arches of the feet, then follow the inner leg line of energy through the adductors, into the pelvic floor, into the transverse abdominals.  It takes a little effort.

And now, I have to mention India.

While I was in India, I did not practice.  Well, okay, maybe a couple times.  But for the majority of my trip, I spent my time walking, eating, observing, haggling, and generally doing everything but yoga.  So I went from having a 2 hours plus practice most days of the week to doing almost nothing.

And it was GREAT.

You see, about a week into my trip, I suddenly realized that something was different.  I didn’t hurt anymore.  The repetitive injuries that I’d been “working through” had faded and my body seemed to be functioning happily.  Rather than fall apart without my yoga practice, my body seemed to be actually doing better.

Now, this isn’t because yoga is bad for you.  On the contrary, yoga is very (very) good for you.  But I’d been practicing in a way that became counter-productive.  I had been over-stressing my body because I liked the challenge.  I wanted to advance my practice, and it seemed like the only way to do this was to do harder poses.  Wasn’t it?

There’s a part of all of us that thrives on challenge.  On advancement.  (You type A’s  know exactly what I mean.)  But when we overdo it and impose a practice on on our body, rather than experience the practice, our body sends us signals that we’re going too far.  If we’re ambitious, we rarely listen and instead “push through,” only to be stopped in our tracks eventually by some sort of injury.

Does this mean we shouldn’t challenge ourselves?  Of course not!  But we must challenge ourselves while still respecting the voice of our body.  So, in other words, how can we honor ourselves and still attempt levitating, inverted abs?

We must listen to ourselves.  Rather than “do” your practice, “be” your practice.  Be inside your practice, rather than inflicting it on your unsuspecting body.  When the challenges come (and they always do), give yourself the space to respond rather than react.  Instead of shutting off or overcompensating, breathe and integrate the experience.  These moments of stress in yoga class are fertile ground for practicing how to consciously respond to anxiety off the mat.

Notice: what’s your pattern for coping with challenge?  Do you ferociously attack it, or succumb without a fight?  Can we practice being with the challenge without adding a psychological agenda?  Can we actually soften in order to be strong?

Since you may be curious, we wound up practicing the transitions from tripod headstand to bakasana and back again.  Fun, fun, all day long. Levitating, inverting abs, indeed!

Photo by SBK
Photo by SBK

Ajna Chakra: Light

Ajna Chakra, located at the third eye center, opens us to element of light.  In addition to literally seeing, this chakra draws us into the power of visualization, imagination, and abstraction.  We literally connect to a higher frequency (Vishuddha was the frequency of sound, Ajna of light) and our experience moves further beyond the tangible plane.

Suddenly, our world is much larger.  We can use the power of our imagination to understand experiences beyond our own.  Though the understanding of images and words, we can visualize our place in a greater context. Our sight is both external and internal. The sixth chakra opens us to the world of intuition, where we are assimilating information more rapidly than our conscious mind may process. We begin to learn to trust our sixth sense.

The power to visualize is a powerful tool that can expand or limit our consciousness.  While our imagination can set us free to imagine possibilities beyond our immediate experience, we can also impose mental boundaries on ourselves that prevent us from moving into our potential.  Discernment in the sixth chakra is the power to separate vision from illusion. As Anodea Judith writes, “Vision leads us forward and illusion holds us back. A vision is a possibility, a goal to inspire us, constantly changing and evolving. We know a vision isn’t real, and yet we believe in its potential. An illusion tends to be held as certainly and forced into place – something we believe is real and unchangeable. An illusion binds the energy; a vision consciously directs it.”

Exercise: Practice discernment between vision and illusion. Do you impose limits on yourself that have no basis in reality? Can you replace these assumptions with a visualization that pulls your more firmly into your real potential?

Om Nama Shivaya

I learned this chant while on a yoga retreat from my friend Julie Blumenthal, who has the most marvelous voice.  I created the hamony line myself.  This was recorded in a bathroom with kick ass acoustics.  Om Nama Shivaya

Om Guru

Guru – the dispeller of darkness.  It’s a wonderful song for the wintery time of year! I originally sang this song with the musical group, Circle of Soul in New York City. I learned both the melody and harmony line with these fantastic ladies. Om Guru

Vishuddha Chakra: Space

The link from the heart chakra to the more etheric upper chakras, Vishuddha (the throat chakra) is the center of conscious communication.  Like the second chakra, Vishuddha is a creative nexus.  However, unlike the unconscious, earthy, and sensuous energy of Svadisthana, Vishuddha’s creativity is connected to our higher consciousness.  Through its power, we literally express and identify ourselves in relationship to the outside world.  We choose how to allow our energy to impact others, and use our voice to express our boundaries, desires, and needs.

Very pragmatically, we can sometimes feel as if we’ve “lost our voice” when there is a disconnect between our experience and our ability to communicate our needs.  At other times, it is through communicating that we actually realize our own experience.  For example, it is common to “hold it together” until someone asks us to communicate our experience.  This act of articulating facilitates the integration of the experience, and causes us to “break down” or release the emotional energy.

A well-balanced throat chakra allows for an equilibrium between expression and listening.  The element of Vishuddha is space, and it is in the openness and potential of this space that exchange can occur.  Rather than engulf our listeners in a deluge of conversation or retreating into a silent shell, we allow for a meaningful sharing of energy and ideas.  The powerful, unconscious energies of the lower chakras (our emotion and our ego) are refined and processed as we develop our capacity to communicate our personal experience with others.

Our lives are in continual, creative evolution.  Through Vishuddha, we enhance our capacity to filter and share our experience with others.

Exercise: Notice your habits in conversation.  Do you tend to dominate conversation, or retreat and stay silent?  Do you fall into comfortable and disingenuous patter because it seems easy?  Is there a better personal balance for you that you might find in increasing your capacity for conscious communication with others?