When to say “no” to a yoga job

Still from "Office Space," very funny movie involving spectacularly bad management.
Still from “Office Space,” very funny movie involving spectacularly bad management.

I recently received  an email from a former student.  As a newer teacher, we are obviously excited about teaching and eager to take advantage of opportunities when they arrive.  However, they may not always be the right opportunities!  Here’s what she wrote:

“I do hope you are well! I need some advice, and I was hoping you could offer some.

I have been subbing for a fantastic yoga teacher who has offered me a couple permanent classes. Unfortunately the subbing has not been going well and the management is a real drag to get a long with. They don’t answer e-mails, classes have been canceled and I don’t find up until I get up there, room changes that I am unaware of and doors locked that don’t get opened until half way through the class…

Although the money is great and I don’t want to disappoint the teacher, I feel like I need to pass on the classes. However, I am concerned that I should just suck it up and take the money and experience…. If you have the time to offer any advice it would be greatly appreciated.” What an amazing question!  When we’re just starting off, we often feel pressured to take experience – any experience! – because we love yoga and want to dive in.  My response:

“Trust your instincts.
Express gratitude for the opportunity, but politely decline.  You are not disappointing her (and if you are, then that is her challenge and not yours)..she is offering you something that would need to benefit both of you in order to be a win/win.  And given the situation, it would not.  As much as they audition US, we are also auditioning THEM.
Depending on your relationship (or her inquiries), you could choose to be honest.
“I admire your teaching and am very grateful for the opportunities that have been given to me.  I would love to find a situation that works for both of us.  I have had a few experiences that are a little unsettling and are giving me pause from accepting the classes. (Detail the issues – specifically and non-judgmentally.)  When these communication issues occurred, I felt unimportant and ill-at-ease – especially because I have to travel such a distance to get to the studio.  If I were to join your community, I would want to feel confident that we could communicate earlier about studio changes.  What are your thoughts/ feelings around that?”
If it’s just too far and not worth discussing, then a polite “thank you for the opportunity, but it’s not the right opportunity given my other obligations right now” will suffice.”
Subjecting ourselves to unprofessional management isn’t part of a karmic debt. Evaluate each opportunity as it comes, and consider the proposition in view of the greater tapestry of your life.
  • Will this experience elevate or diminish me?  
  • Am I holding them to the same professional standards that I hold myself?
  • Do I truly feel good about accepting the management limitations because of the experience I will be gaining?
  • What are my instincts?
When we’re starting out, we don’t always have access to the teaching options we desire.  But we do have the power to say “No” to situations that will not serve us.  Being a newer teacher isn’t carte blanche for inappropriate managerial behaviour.  Make your decision clearly weighing your options.  And remember – other teaching opportunities will arise.  Keep your eyes on the studios and management that feel like your community, and focus your efforts there.
Happy teaching!

How to choose your perfect mentor

mentorIn my role as the Director of the YYoga Teachers’ College, I have frequently been asked by recent training graduates, “Now, how do I choose my mentor?”  For yoga students, this is akin to asking the question, “How do I choose my teacher?”

First, it’s important define exactly a mentor is.  From Greek mythology, “Mentor” was the name of the Odysseus’s trusted friend who was charged with the responsibility of raising his son while Odysseus was away on his travels.  A mentor is therefore a trusted guide, whose role is to teach from the light of his or her own experience.  Not only does a mentor advise, but he or she is also expected to model ideal behaviour.

In looking for a mentor, we are not trying to find someone who will simply tell us what to do.  As yoga students, we come to the learning table with the substantial weight of our personal practice and life experience.  As yoga teachers, we can add our teacher training to our list of resources.  At the same time, we want our mentor to have more experience than us, so that they can advise us as one who has already “traveled the path.”  Entering into a mentorship is entering into a partnership, where each party values the others strengths and contributions.

When looking for a mentor or teacher, it is important to find someone with whom you can develop a relationship of trust, communication, and mutual respect.

Ask yourself:

  • Which teachers model the behaviour or teaching that I wish to cultivate within myself?
  • Who inspires me?
  • With whom do I feel that I can communicate honestly and effectively?
  • Who do I feel comfortable asking questions of?  And sharing my own point of view?
  • With whom do I feel mutual respect as a teacher and person?

Finding a mentor with knowledge is only part of the journey; we also need to choose a mentor with the ability to provide us with communicable resources to develop our own skills.

Finally, when looking for a mentor, remember that you are not asking for a favor.  In its best incarnation, the mentorship process is a two-way street, where your mentor will benefit and learn as much – if not more – than you by the partnership.   A good mentor will cherish the opportunity to be a humble student as well as a knowledgeable guide.

Happy learning!

Cirque de Soleil. And your yoga teacher.

In the furor to “get noticed” and have street cred, yoga instructors are often expected to display Cirque de Soleil like physical prowess. Can you do a crazy pose? Do you have mad, unusual flexibility? Then I am impressed and you are suitable to be my teacher!

While I have great respect for dedicated yogis who have developed mastery as a result of their commitment, I do feel obliged to point out that gymnastics and yoga – though they bear some resemblance and have apparently some shared heritage – do not have the same goal.

Because it is challenging to measure someone’s “inner peace” or kindness, the easier landmark becomes what we can see. Can they get their foot behind their head? Do a crazy backbend? Surely physical skill translates to spiritual evolution. Doesn’t it?

A good check in: What is the purpose of your yoga practice? Is it about physical mobility and joint range of motion? Is it about kindness? Awareness? Getting into the “flow?”

We all gravitate to our yoga teachers for different reasons. Perhaps you are seeking a teacher who pushes your physical limits. But if you are NOT seeking that experience, then why become overly infatuated by the foot behind the head thing?

A story: one of my favourite teachers offered to give a student a ride home after her class. At this unexpected expression of generosity, the student said, “Wow, that’s so nice of you!” My teacher paused for a moment, and then replied just a bit tartly, “Well, if yoga doesn’t make you kinder, then what’s the point?”