“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Mr. Anderson, Perks of Being a Wallflower
Consciously, we know that we are good, smart people. Good people who try hard and deserve to have good things.
So why do we find ourselves in situations in which we would be aghast to find our friends?
Through relationships, the deeper currents of ours subconscious – or hey, let’s call it karma – are revealed. While our conscious mind is happily thinking that we are cleverly avoiding all our usual traps, unconsciously we are re-creating patterns that expose our deeper hardwiring. These are the patterns that we ultimately slap ourselves on the forehead about: “God, why am I here again?”
Not only do we accept the love we think we deserve; we accept the jobs, the friends, the criticism, the boundaries, and the lives that we think we deserve.
What a blessing.
Through active and mindful participation in our relationships, therefore, we can begin to gently and compassionately unearth our blindspots…and consciously make choices to reset our patterns and update our beliefs. When we witness our relationships with the world, we can clearly be in the reality of who we truly are – not just who we think we want to be. And from that honest and tender place, we can be brave enough to accept our “karma” and make decisions that are more in line with our vision for our highest selves.
Our yoga practice offers a clear and present mirror, where we similarly “accept the practice we think we deserve.”
Do we feel unhappy with ourselves? Perhaps we have a deep feeling that we’re unworthy and need to be punished. We will find opportunities to create these experiences in our practice. Do we think that we are lazy, inept, imbalanced? These beliefs will show up there, too. Do we feell like we’re victims? Bingo – in the practice. Do we feel that we deserve to feel, to be nourished, and to express ourselves unselfconsciously? Voila, our practice.
Our yoga practice is a blank canvas, waiting for us to begin to paint. Through witnessing the art that we create, we are privy to a clear and present window through which to recognize our conscious beliefs, as well as our deeper, hidden patterns. By honestly watching our thoughts and actions, we can compassionately begin to recognize who we truly are. And through our yoga practice, we can then sweetly and mindfully untether ourselves from old beliefs and create a higher relationship with ourselves.
First within, then without.
As we begin to shift the tectonic plates of these old beliefs, our outer world will begin to shift too. And while we will still be accepting the love (and the practice, the job, and the friends) that we believe we deserve, “what we think we deserve” may evolve to be something quite different.
- how do I treat myself in my yoga?
- what beliefs surface about myself?
- are there any consistent thoughts that keep surfacing?
- how do I want my practice to be?
- what would I have to give up – or let go of – in order to allow this to happen?
- what do I lose if I do?
- what do I gain?
Go explore, you beautiful creature.
Feel, move, love.