In all things human

I fall over in handstand.

I try, I miss, I get afraid, I fall. I am not one of those effortless inversion mamas, deftly floating from pose to pose. I admire those practitioners, marvel at their grace. I’ve been afraid of handstand since I fell out of it over four years ago.

I have other sins.

I am not consistent in my practice. I do not arrive every day on my mat at 6 AM. I arrive late, get flustered, leave early to get to meeting. My mornings are derailed by the previous evening’s glass of wine, a netflix binge, or the simple deep heart angst of an existential day. I get consumed in work, become anxious, forget to meditate, and catch myself texting when I should be listening.

I beat myself up, wonder what the point is, then am suddenly struck by the beauty of the autumn leaves. And I am reminded for a moment – a glimpse that is breathtakingly beautiful – that I am alive.

I breathe, remember myself, and return to practice.

And fall over in handstand.

But today in practice, I realized that the point isn’t actually to do handstand.

The point is simply to try. To show up.

Regardless of the wine, the netflix binge, the boyfriend fight, or the existential crisis. Show up anyway. Or in fact, because of the wine, the netflix binge, the boyfriend fight….to return. To come back. To breathe. To feel. To try to do handstand, again. To fall. To try. And to return the next day.

The point of our yoga isn’t achievement, but our there-ness. Our showing-up-ness. To remember, just for a moment, that we have a space inside us that is beyond distraction. Beyond success or failure.

A space of goodness that simply is.

And we are enough.

Photo credit.

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Showing 8 comments
  • anna

    You write very well and That things did not know anyone.
    Great post.

  • Christina B

    This article really speaks to me. You make such a good point about being able to accept our flaws in our every day lives. In this day and age, where everyone’s lives on social media are portrayed as picture perfect, it’s important to remember that there are imperfect times as well! It’s also so important to remember that everything is a process, and as long as we try to keep moving forward, that’s all that matters. 🙂

    http://www.waygoodtea.com

  • Rachel

    Hi Christina – thank you so much for reading and for your insight. Everything is a process 🙂 Side note: I love Way Good Tea!!!! Thx for connecting

  • Rebecca

    Soooo good. Do you mind if I quote a snippet of this on instagram of course giving credit to you?

  • Rachel

    Please do! xoxo

  • claire

    I have to keep repeating this to myself – just turn up – do it and forget all the fancy schmancy poses, just get on the mat and do it! No matter what. (except not today cause it is a new moon day!!)

  • Rachel

    LOL Exactly!! Honestly, I think even if I sit and just breathe for five minutes deliberately, that’s a triumph.

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