Saying no to right/ wrong
I’m right! You’re wrong!
Ooooo, it feels so good to be right!! Doesn’t it? Being right is brain happy food. “He is soooooo wrong!” I say, outraged (but somehow gleeful). When I’m right, I feel safe, secure, and wonderful. “I’ve got this.” Control maintained. Oh happy day!
And then my dad says, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to have a relationship?”
My dad: the yogi that has never practiced yoga.
See, according to yoga philosophy, there is no such thing as right/ wrong, at least not if we can step back and take in the big picture. We humans just get confused because our brains love to make comparisons. If I’m good, you’re bad. If I’m dark, you’re light. Tall/ short, thin/ fat…nothing in the world exists except through comparison. We love this duality; it’s how we make meaning. But to often we forget that duality is just a mind tool; it’s not what’s really happening.
According to Tantra, the Universe is Consciousness unfolding itself, simply for the joy and play (lila) of the experience. You are consciousness regarding itself (yourself), and regarding others as well. Your perspective or viewpoint (darsana) is uniquely yours, a special experience of consciousness knowing itself in a particular way. Verily, we are the universe in self-reflection.
Because we are all part of this self-reflection, everyone is an essential and holy component of this grand unfolding. From this higher perspective, we can see that every viewpoint has value, because it is. It is, therefore it is good. “Right” becomes a limited and egoic tantrum of self-assertion, a needing to prove that our own viewpoint is okay. But when we trust that our own perspective is intrinsically of value, the need to be right becomes obsolete.
Instead of right/wronging each other, we can become curious about someone else’s perspective. What have they experienced that it outside the marvelous sum total of your experiences that would cause them to think so differently? How marvelous! How eye-opening! How curious!
So no to right/ wrong. Let’s soften up our hard edges. Out of curiosity – rather than judgment – true compassion and learning are born.