We don’t get mad because of what people do. We get mad because of what we make it mean. Let’s say you and your bestie have planned a coffee date, but she’s twenty minutes late. You’re working through your second latte and – not only are you now highly caffeinated – you’re fuming as well. Chances […]
His name is Chad. He’s a lanky black cat with bright green eyes and he came into my parents’ lives about three years ago. My parents have a farm in Boerne, Texas, and after my mom got her chickens, well, it seemed natural enough that a farm cat should complete the scene. It was a […]
Does it have to be so hard to find love? Last week I started working with Laurie, a new client, who came to me with a complaint that I hear very often: “Why is it so hard to find love? I’ve been putting a lot of time and effort into dating and not getting anywhere. […]
This past week I had a difficult conversation with a loved one. It was one of those rip-your-heart-open-say-what-you-really-think experiences where I felt uncertain and scared. Usually a rational and controlled strategist, I found this heart-driven communication terrifying. Imagine for a moment that you are surrounded by a lovely sphere in which “life is comfortable and […]
“Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise…” – James Kirk Yogis, we’re going on a fantastic voyage. A voyage that reveals the importance of inner space… A famous study entitled “From Jerusalem to Jericho” was conducted in the 1970’s to analyze the good Samaritan story from the Bible. Researchers sought to determine […]
“So when you get a text,” my friend says slowly, “you first respond to what they say, and then you have to answer with a question to keep the conversation going.” She is a fabulous and attractive woman in her mid-forties, now venturing into the waters of online dating. I nod, commiserating. I’ve been down this […]
At the office. 8 pm on a Friday night. With my yoga administrator, Caecilia. And I’m fussing over syntax in an email. “Sorry, C,” I sigh, “I know this is picky.” “No, no,” she waves me off. “Love is in the details.” I stop short. “What? What did you say?” “Love is in the details,” […]
“Rachel, what’s going on?” “….” “…Rachel, clearly something is on your mind….just say it.” I am silent: my oceanic feelings are contained behind the steel-trap of my teeth. I feel, I feel, I feel, and I have no words for my feelings, because I’m desperately afraid that if I say them, the person in front […]
A Rabbit Noticed My Condition “I was sad one day and went for a walk; I sad in a field. A rabbit noticed my condition and came near. It often does not take more than that to help at times – to just be close to creatures who are so full of knowing, so full […]
It began with a text exchange: Hey Rachel, that’s a sexy, sassy new POF profile! …What new profile? …Uh, you’d better call me. A friendly Fish directs me to the username of the new profile that has cropped up on Plenty of Fish. “It’s definitely you,” he says with animated concern, “The pictures are of […]
Sweet, sweet freedom. Oh the freedom to date whomever I want, whenever I want! To run amok with plenty of fishies, tinder dandies, and e-harmonics! What could possibly be more liberating that to have the absolute freedom to date anyone I want without commitment or a care in the world! Right? Hmmm. Actually, no. I […]
I love to live in denial. Not deliberately, of course, but it kind of slips in around the edges, hovers just outside of the edges of my vision. And the funny thing about denial is that I don’t even know it’s there. And when it finally swims into focus, the wake up is often astonishing. […]
I’ve recently returned to the online waters after a hiatus. Towards the end of my last go-round, I had gotten to the point where I was dismissing profiles with incredulous gasps and eye rolling. “OMG, can you believe this one?” I said to my girlfriend, “His only picture was clearly taken at his wedding and […]
Tinder. The new art of dating. Tinder is a strangely compelling (and slightly disturbing) app that allows you to connect with potential dating (or friends?) in your vicinity. It’s like Angry Birds meets Plenty of Fish. How it works: you set some parameters, view the profile pic of potential candidates, then swipe right if you’re […]
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Mr. Anderson, Perks of Being a Wallflower Consciously, we know that we are good, smart people. Good people who try hard and deserve to have good things. So why do we find ourselves in situations in which we would be aghast to find our friends? Through […]
A long time ago, I liked Valentine’s Day. Back in kindergarten and grade school, Valentine’s Day was a fun opportunity to tell everyone we knew how much we liked them. We spent hours making valentines for schoolmates, teachers, family members, even pets. All topped off with the little sugar valentine hearts and copious amounts of […]
Okay, okay, so I’m sure that Patanjali was not actually referring to dating angst when he orated about kaivalya – the ultimate state of aloneness, or detachment, from worldly sensory objects. However, embracing aloneness isn’t just for yogis meditating in caves. It’s also essential for our adventures in relationship. The Insane Mind The merits of […]
Oh, Anticipation… Bass Coast was my first music festival and the possibilities were exhilarating. The venue was spectacular (imagine: campsites nestled in the Squamish mountains at the foot of a sweeping, glacier-fed river), the stages were stunning, lineups were killer, and the festival folk were both open-heartedly friendly and wildly costumed. We danced, we frolicked, […]
Okay, okay. So you’ve met a guy or gal. You’re excited about them. A connection has been made. Your eyes have gotten slightly glassy and you get a little breathless and a-flutter when they send you a text. You long to unwrap them (immediately) like a Christmas present and discover all their yummy secrets. However, […]
After nearly 9 years in the world of relationship, I have arrived in some incredibly fertile ground for spiritual evolution and self-development: dating. Just a few years shy of true cougarhood (insert some mix of a sexy meow and “yikes” here), this is the first time that I’ve had any real consciousness about “dating”, per […]
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