Why It’s Okay To Struggle

I have a straw in my mouth that I am humming forcefully into. “HMMMMMMM…HMMMMM…..HMMMMM.” I sound like a deranged duck honking. Nasal. The vibration is jaw-jarring. “HMMMMM….HMMMMMM…..HMMMMMM….”

Face red, lips pursed, straw dangling. It’s not glamorous.

But many of us feel that the “right” life should have a little glamour. We like the idea of effortless perfection and smooth edges. We crave a sense of order, certainty, and elegance. Looking at the whitewash of social media, we think (quite logically) that that is reality. We’re supposed to look like that.

“What no one will tell you is that it’s okay to struggle.” – Chis Chavez, global yoga teacher

I’m blowing through a straw because I have vocal nodes. Vocal nodes are small callouses that develop in your vocal folds due to heavy vocal use. In my case, the heavy use comes from day job as a yoga teacher and teacher trainer, which means a lot of talking. I’m also an opera singer. And if I want to sing again, I have to take time off from hitting high notes and instead blow in straws.

Here are some other examples of unseen struggle:

• Ballet dancer. The bone fractures, the time off for physio.
• Perfect mom. The “baby food in hair at 6 AM/shouting at the children” moment.
• Actors. The team of make up and hair artists manufacturing their beauty for every shot.
• Yoga Journal. The coaches on the sidelines fixing poses.

With everyone selling the idea of effortless perfection, it’s not surprising that we have started to think it’s bad to show our struggle. We bring this into our yoga practice: we think we’re bad yogis if we fail, fall over, can’t hit handstand, can’t climb into wheel.

“…we’re expected (and sometimes desire) to be perfect, yet we’re not allowed to look as if we’re working for it.” – Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to struggle. In fact, it’s essential. If we spend most of our time thinking that we’ve got to look cool, we’re never going to be able to do the work that will get us out of status quo. Most of life is composed of the grubby, dirty moments where we grunt, fall over, fail, get set back, and need a time out with a teddy bear for comfort. In the yoga practice, it takes years of falling over before we figure out how to get into an arm balance.

Rather than turn these failures into moments of shame, it’s time to celebrate our courage in getting up and trying again. These everyday small acts of faith and courage are the best of the human spirit. It takes great courage because we don’t know if we will ever “get there.” I may not be able to sing again, but I’m going to blow into those damn straws. You may not get handstand, but you show up and you try.

We can’t control the whole world, but we can start with our practices. If your yoga practice has become infected with perfectionism and a “cool kids only” vibe, it’s time to reclaim the authenticity of the struggle. Dare to get deeper into the fire of warrior 2, try the weird arm balance, and fall over in tree. Risk looking like you haven’t got it all figured out.

As you reveal your own struggle, those around you will feel the absolute relief of being able to drop their own perfection masks. We need this.

Let’s start the struggle revolution. Share your humanity. And pour your heart into it.